The UGLY side of parenting ... teenagers

Darlene bitchin' again,
I have to admit, as newborns they were PRETTY EASY to figure out.. now I'd sell my soul for a handbook or a directions thing.. some sort of manual. A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G that will help me get a grip on them/my sanity and whatever else I need to grip!

My son changed drastically around his 18th birthday. Actually.. on it. I knew he wasn't the same boy the minute he opened up his birthday card from the only grandparent he has and only sees like once every 5 years...never *really* opened the card. Just let the cool $20.00 bill glide gracefully into the palm of his hand as he swiftly tucked it in his pocket rejoicing "sweeet" as he carelessly tosses the birthday card on the bed.

I am in shock. He's NEVER done this. He's always at least opened and read the card...or pretended to but either way he spent a "normal" amount of time "appearing" to be "reading/intaking" it's "loving" words from "my mother". Now it's like gum found on the bottom of a shoe.. tossed.

Me: ahh umm Jeff?.. Don't you think you should at least read the card?

Jeff: Not right now Mom I gotta go hook up w/my friends and go skateboarding.

Me: *shock #2* it's your birthday! are you not planning on spending the day here?

Jeff: Well, I didn't think I had to be here all day? Do I?

Me: It's your birthday.

Jeff: Cool, cya (gone before I could even find my wits never mind gather them)

Hence "the change" commenced... slowly down the road his report card starts proudly displaying a letter I haven't ever seen on any of their report cards.. not 1.. not 2.. not 3.. but 4 screaming effs!!!

As time moves on.. he gets ruder/nastier much much braver in the things he says. After hearing several times a week how much he hates being around us blah blah .. he moved out. (shock #3).

This my friend.. is the ugly side of parenting. It is 1 thing for your child to continue their education blossom into college.. maybe the dorm or an apartment. . or (God help you) if your child decides to camp it out longer to work and save money for their own place.. while attenting/or not .. attending school. I figure it won't be long and everyone can just take classes to be whatever online and I figure that's what my kids would do cause their just that lazy.. not to mention q.s has a t.v schedule she NEVER misses.

Back to the boy. He's been stealing money/cigarettes/food.. eating in his room when it's against the rules/smoking upstairs which is against the rules not to mention he seems to believe he can just come and go as he pleases and he dinner anytime he wants, doesn't matter if it's 11pm and the kitchen is clean he's going for a full course meal. If I DARE say anything he goes off how we don't want him eating blah blah....

Mother's Day Do-Over he eff'ed up. Hubby took them all to his work for 90 mins to play video games/bowl/eat etc while he held a meeting. 2x's my son makes the alarms go off cause he just HAS to open the emergency exit door....DID I SAY TWICE??????? OMFG can't you even behave at your Dad's work place? Yes he's the boss.. DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE or that you can do what you want.
So by now even the girls are livid. As their getting in the van the K.S was laffin at his stupid azz self for what he did.. the King said "get in the van little boy"... K.S piped up BRAVELY FROM WAY IN THE BACK OF THE VAN "why do you be quiet little boy".

Silence... girls go off on him. The King said he was in a state of shock. He coudln't believe the boy spoke to him like that. Even if he's not his "father" he's been his Dad since he was 8 years old...wth is wrong with him? Didn't we teach him respect? (ahh the self reflection.. where did we go wrong.. well guess what.. sometimes IT ISN'T THE PARENTS FAULT...but more that of the company they keep). I have 0 control over who he hangs out with and where he goes. The cops nicely informed me of that... but also informed me I didn't have to keep him here. The boy is overdue for a life lesson...one where ur not showered with a swimming pool, ipods, tvs, computers, ds's, ps3 or 5's or wutever...

Upon entry..and hearing the above forementioned conversation, I commenced doing what *I* thought any reasonable parent would do. I asked him "why in hell he would talk to the King that way"... I really don't recall what happened after he said "im not gonna put up w/getin talked to like that i treat everyone in this house as im treat so there". I lost it. I told him to get his things together and get out. I came back with "btw.. if you ever think u can be decent/civil/respectful/honest/and NOT STEAL from me.. you're welcomed back but not until u can do all those things"

He slams the door with a roaring FUCK YOU.

Ahh.. that's my boy... a total asshole... *sigh* raised mostly among girls... let the self reflection commence.

I am a processor. I process everything, I say A LOT in the heat of the moment and more then one time have tucked my head between my legs and apologized to a good many people for things I've said or done... yes.. this includes but is not limited to family... like my very own children. So they were taught how to apologize as well.. and mean it.

I stare blankly at the door. .who the hell was that kid? I DID NOT raise him to be that way, or to talk to me or the King that way.

After a tearful phone call to my mother, she assured me there was nothing else I could do. I have given him chance after chance and he continues to break the rules or feel they don't apply to him. I'm limited by his age and the fact I don't trust him..as to how I can punish him. This frustrates the girls...their under 18 I can ground them. I can't him, he'll just up and leave anyways and come home when he wants eat leave again come home smoke in the shower go to bed and repeat the following day.

It's been 2 days. I've not heard a word. I don't know where he is.. or how he is. Though I'm sure he's fine... I hope. Mommy instinct tells me he's fine.. so does the occassional "sighting" kids in the neighborhood or the King or I are lucky enough.. it's usually how it goes. He doesn't seem to go "far".

This is the ugly side of parenting. The worry, the disrespect, you look at this person you taught to walk/potty/talk/draw/read/write...and now ur face to face with demon spawn.

I don't know what's taken over my son or how long it will last. I only pray that in the meantime he stays safe..... and I stay sane... and out of jail.