Jonna's missing u.p's... std's.. and damn chicken

Ok.. this was just too CLASSIC not to share. The following is a conversation which occured between octo-mom-wannabe jb and I, which occured yesterday on MSN!

Darlene: hey what ya doin

Jonna: trying to decide if I should look for the kids or not

Darlene: where are they?

Jonna: outside........................ some.where

Darlene: o.. lucky you

Jonna: no seriously.. I can't see them or hear them anymore I should go look for them

Darlene: why? you can't be everywhere they are.. they'll come home.

Jonna: hmm thought I heard Alyssa

Darlene: HIDE! LOCK THE DOORS!

Jonna: should I go look? (WHY ARE U EVEN ASKING ME AT THIS POINT..??)

Darlene: nah I wouldn't.. i only can pray mine get lost.. their older they KNOW their way home

silence...................................

Jonna: my dr tested me for std's .. apparently I look like a whore

Darlene: wow.. lost kids AND you look like a whore, I can only dress like one. You DO.HAVE.IT.ALL .. bitch


What else could I say to a statement like that?? Now, she's buried in 20 lbs of chicken carcus SOMEWHERE in her house.. raking up her electric bill doing a months worth of meals in 1 night (OMG mothers RESEMBLE superwoman.. BUT YOU AREN'T HER!!). I got thinkin what an idiot she is and that cooking is NOT YET AN OLYMPIC SPORT...plus FFS YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD..

She never did tell me the results of the std's test... are you hiding something jb? Now I add to my list

looks whorish
has a baby momma**
lost kids

gawd do u have to rub in how awesome you and your life are??? GO F.A.T! (for those that don't know.. that is my polite way of telling her to go eff a tree). I'm gonna soon pretend I don't know you if you do NOT stop coming up w/these ridiculous ideas.. or at least mention them to me BEFORE you do them.. you have some hope of being saved if I can talk your azz out of it.

now I must peel... potatoes......... oh hubby got them done... yay!

It's 5:14pm I've managed to thoroughly enjoy my day thus far minus the 171 "episodes".. I've got my hair done now to raid the dresser and closet and see if I can find SOMETHING to wear... this might be one of those times where I should just wait til I really have *no* time to get ready.. then I don't have the time to look in the mirror.. horrified w/that deer in the headlights look...mersmized by what's looking back.. and not in a good way ppl.

-Darlene