JB here. I have been summoned to come introduce myself so here I am. I'm JB. I'm a mommy of 4 kids (5 if you count my husband), my oldest will soon be 9 and my youngest just turned 3. Apparently I am a baby making machine. If only raising them were as much fun as making them, I would have dozens more ;)
My kids drive me crazy are my everything, and make life interesting to say the least. I was a single mom for 5 years, and thanks to that I have oh so many stories about a day in the life of an overwhelmed, overworked, underpaid, never thanked, unappreciated living with 4 kids. I love love love my kids, but man, sometimes I find it amazing that I have yet to rip out all my hair or run out of the house screaming.
My oldest son is a saint. Honestly, truly, he is. I think it's because he was a horrid horrid toddler. I would say he was the spawn of the devil, but that is untrue. The devil is his grandmother, therefore my ex (whom I refer to as dilweed) is the spawn of the devil. Honestly, if you want to look her up and hang out, it won't take long to convince you I'm not exaggerating. So my oldest son, he made life a living hell for a few years but thank goodness now he is my little slave and ever so sweet. I feel I have earned the right to treat him as a slave, I spent years cleaning up sharpie off various objects, one of which being the baby, and cleaning crap, yes literal crap, off carpet, walls, clothes etc. I'm now making him pay for having made my life miserable for a few years.
My oldest daughter....hmmm....what to say about this one. She lives in her own little world. Oh to be as clueless as her, life would be so grand. She is a riot, but I'll tell you more about her later. I could go on and on for hours with stories about that little girl. All I am going to say is it's a good thing she's pretty, I hope she finds a rich man, maybe she'll grow out of it and become a Dr ;)
My youngest son, oh what a surprise this little boy was. He was unplanned, and I decided to name him after an angel because of that. You know how they say be careful what you name a child? Well never name them after an angel....you'll get the opposite behavior. Nothing is cuter than my little boy, with his blonde hair and big blue eyes, until he opens his mouth and screams that is. It's hit or miss with this kid, whether you get an angel or a, well...you know. He's at times the sweetest sweetest boy ever, and other times....get yourself a set of earplugs and go hide in the closet!!
On to the baby. Oooohh my beloved baby!!! I had a stillbirth before my youngest, so that's why I justified spoiling her. Now...yeah I'm dealing with the aftermath. I call my baby Pieface. Why you ask? Well, I had 3 preemies and being my only full term baby and at a whopping 6 lbs 2 oz I thought she had the fattest baby face ever, hence the name Pieface. Pieface is very similar to Darlene's Hitler, even share the same birthday, although Hitler is a year older. My child thinks I live to serve her. From the minute she wakes up, literally THE MINUTE she wakes up, she barks orders at me. "I'm hungry! FEED ME!" "DRINK!" notice how she is polite enough to ask "please may I have something to eat?" and "please can you pour me a drink?" All day until the sweet little angel falls asleep. Pieface is the most beautiful, and at select times, the sweetest little girl I have ever seen. At other times....she is Hitler the second.
Last person to be introduced, my loving husband. We are newlyweds!! I'm sure if I asked the hubs he could tell me how many days we've been married, he's completely unaware of how much life sucks to be married to me the sweetest man ever I hope we are always this much in love!!! He's awesome with the kids. All he has to do is snap and/or point and then all fall in line like little soldiers. If only I could effectively employ the same tactic. Instead, I scream until I lose my voice bark orders in vain and eventually give up and go hide in the bedroom with a box of twinkies or oreos, or both.
Well that's all for me. I gotta rest up so I can treat myself to a wonderful Mother's Day. If I don't cook, clean, slave away for the kids enjoy it, then it won't be the special day it was meant to be. To all you other moms out there, Happy Mother's Day!! I hope your kids behave and the house stays somewhat clean for you!
~JB
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