Just call me ................WARDEN

Darlene reporting for duty since Jonna seems MIA OMG! Needless to say the past few days have been crazzzzy.

We had to have our lawyer call immigration to arrange the release of the convict. Against my wishes there is no curfew.. nor has he been placed under anyone's care.. he's been released on "his own recognizance". SO.NOT.YAY

So, as soon as he comes in he has to stuff his face.. apparently you are NOT fed well in holding! He claims he got "a roll" and "wet peanut butter".. I smiled inside and said out loud "No place like home huh!" I so could not resist.

You have to understand though the king is VERY old fashioned...deep down in that big ol hard heart of his.. is a spot of compassion that only us he loves dearly can find.. and touch.

He bought the idiot subway on the way home from retrieving him from crowbar hotel. How nice! What IS the record time for eating a foot long? Cause I really think the convict beat it and I'd bet my ass he didn't even taste it.

So now, the convict has been home about 15 mins shoved his pie-hole and filled himself to the base of his neck... wanders on upstairs to his OH.MY.GOD.MOM.WHAT.THE.HELL.DID.YOU.DO.TO.MY.ROOM... room. I cleaned it :). Boy did I clean it good. There is NOWHERE that kid can stash a thing that I won't be able to locate in a matter of minutes. He had boxes on top of his closet that I've gone through and thrown most of out.. candy wrappers/plastic deodorant lids, real popular for putting his smokes out in... anything I found I felt wasn't a necessity..got tossed... gone good-bye.

The RAGE hits.

I head up the stairs to explain myself and am faced with a PISSED.OFF 18 yo who's suddenly out of left field has it made up in his simple mind that his time in jail.. gettin caught.. the whole thing was MY fault. He has no issues screaming this to me at this top of his face.

I had no issues slapping his face either.

HARD!

He stormed off to his friends house. Didn't return until near bedtime. I also wanna note that though it took me a massive 2 1/2 hours to beautify his room... it looked like a cyclone hit it in under 30 seconds.. i swear to the Lord above my this is a GIFT.

Now while the boy was gone in his rage to his buddy's house. Q.S returns promptly from school. I open the door as the beloved teacup chihuahua escapes "THERE HE GOES!" I say in my best "racer" voice. Now, normally Q.S would run out in all her glory not giving a rats ass if her hair is perfect or if her eyeliner and mascara are running or if high hells are really a good thing to run in!. Not today. Nope. She prances upstairs to change and get all horrified. (this is a daily ritual..she goes upstairs looking radiant and coming down like somone attacked her somewhere inbetween).

Hours pass.. no obbie. Tears start flowing all over the place. Signs get made/copied/prayers prayed like never before. Hours pass.. no obbie. We walk and walk and drive and walk and still.. no obbie.

Determined to be the all mighty savior to our achingly missing dog hearts.. I attack craigslist like...well the convict attacked the foot long sub really.. found us a purebred yorkie for 400.00. What a deal!! Call the woman, she didn't want to make "hold" arrangements over the over but didn't really want us to come out at that time of night (9pm.. not late u hold hag). After spending a few moments explaining what had happened.. she agreed to let us come take a look at "Frankie".. now how many ppl are going to drive for 30 mins to look at a dog if they were'nt PRETTY SURE they were gonna get it. Armed with cash we pulled up and the king was in love (not with the old lady). Cash exchanged hands.. so did the dog... and we were no longer dogless!! WOOOT I'm a goddess...

Next afternoon: Ring ring goes the phone. Woman 1 street over has obbie. She seen our signs and called. She returned him right away to us with notification she took it upon herself to take the dog to the vet to make sure he was ok. 40.00 for pain meds for his leg.. he needs surgery on another paw.. and one of his testicles didnt come down so he needs surgery for that (ahmm yeah that's one I NEVER wouldv'e known). Thanks for my dog!!!!!!!!! Though seriously I think you brought him back sicker then when he left he never had all that wrong and now he's puking...wtf did you feed him? Can I have the few extra bucks we gave you...back to clean the carpet?.


So then the decision had to be made.. what do we do with "Frankie". Now I'm not crazy about him..but he IS a good dog. He and obbie are having a time adjusting to each other but luckily there hasn't been any doggie fights to break up yet.

The king expressed his strong desire to keep Frankie and rename him Oscar. Hence.. the king has spoken.
So now, Obbie sleeps in his crate at night. Oscar sleeps on our bed between King's feet (of all places).

Now I have my beloved convict home who when he's made at me says he doesn't feel like calling me mom... I tell him warden works well.

I feel a bottle of wine coming my way....