Darlene here, oh wait can't post yet, the boy wants to argue for the 3rd time.. brb. Ahhh nothing says "I love you Mom" like pissed off 18-yo I.KNOW.IT.ALL.YOU.OLD.HAG boy .. who apparently must think I'm Jesus Christ.. I.AM.NOT.. forgiveness is not a "given" for EVERYTHING RETARDED that you do!! (wait, you forgive me for all the retarded things I do, is that just because you did not give birth to me and could sign out from messenger and be rid of me?)
So, it's Mother's Day.. and as much as I hate to say this, Jb is right. I spend 364 days a year being a mom.. doing mom "stuff". Why is there 1 effin' day a year.. where it's supposed to be "special"?? I'm sorry, I feel the same today playin referree and fetch for the 4 yo.. as I did yesterday.. and the day before... last week too! This should be "NOT Mother's Day".. 1 day a year where you ARE NOT doing "mommy stuff"...wth could be better.. aside from a bottle of Arbor and every season of "House M.D" ever made...... that my friends.. is a piece of heaven that I'm 2/3 of the way to getting. Got Arbor.. got House.. need.to.rid.of.the.fpc's! (fpc's... my awesome nickname for my 3 teens and toddler=future-possible-criminals).
My hubby has been awesome let's call him King of the Hill...KOTH.. cause .. he's not really a king and we don't live on a hill... the show is not real ppl!!.. did that make sense? We will call him that anyway as it distinguishes him from the children.. might get confusing if I refer to him as the 6th or something.."my adopted child...the one i married"... ok that sounds... odd.. and pervy.(I thought I was the 'whorish' one...leave the pervy posts to me!!) Neways, he's doing all he can to keep Hitler happy who today is totally living up to her nickname .. you go girl!!.. as well as keeping the teens from physically attacking and pounding the living crap out of each other. You can't stop teens from arguing... that leads to another argument. I intervene when they start threatening bodily harm. Needless to say by 2:18pm all children over 10 were sleeping. wtf?? Shouldn't that be me?? wth why don't the 4 yo nap?? That kid can go 16 hours non stop talking...eating..demandig...dictating.. teens can't make it 3 hours without a meal or sleep.. unless of course their out w/friends.. who the hell needs food and sleep then??? NOT.THEM.
back to the king.
He's taking me out tonight.. which is my gift and I CAN'T WAIT!!! We are going to adult heaven.. yes.. that is right.. the CASINO!! WOOOOOOOOOOT! So, it really doesn't matter how this day goes, the beauty of it is...... #1. I get to go upstairs and play dress-up to find something that doesn't make me look like an ethiopian.. something that makes me look like I HAVE BOOBS! Where the hell did they go anyways?? (ok that's another blog entry..*takes note*). #2. I get to spend countless minutes, or hours, whichever I choose.. effin' w/the makeup.. tryin to make myself look decent and take the attention off the amazing dark circles that seemed to have appeared about an hour after #1 came........... and haven't left yet.. almost 20 years ppl. #3. FREE BABYSITTING.. booya.. it's Mother's Day.. I don't have to pay the teens for slaving to the 4 yo while I go out and hopefully become reaquainted with Michelob... ahh sounds like the makings of a perfect night.. slots better be puttin out!
BTW ppl.. you can't "buy" a "baby momma".. ya I googled dude.. notta..ziltch.. nothing. . I dunno if I'm mad at my ex or myself. He's never remarried despite us being apart over 110...err 10 years.. and if that's the only way I'm gonna get a baby momma I think I might be screwed. UGH I scarred him for life... now I pay. He will be referred to as the gigolo when I have to talk about him. That should pretty much explain why were not married anymore.. if not.. google "gigolo".. or find David Lee Roth and download it.. either way you'll figure it out.
I think I've turned into some sort of random stock room to the teenagers. "Mom can i borrow your scissors?"..(should i b thankful you asked me this time?).. headphones... pen.. some paper.. request lemmonade to be made FROM SCRATCH (gettin.right.on.it). It doesn't seem to matter if it's mine.. it becomes theirs.. until Hitler decides it's hers, at which point I stand a better chance of getting said item back, as she has the attention span of a flea and will go from one thing/mood to the next. It really doesn't matter if it came wrapped in paper with a tag on it w/my name or any reference to me.. like "Mom".. I'm really just holding it for someone 1/2 my age to claim.
I'm not big on going out for dinner on Mother's Day.. it's impossible to get a reservation or find a decent place where I'm not put on a waiting list for 8 hours.. that isn't wendy's or burger king or mcdonals.. so we are grilling! Hubby's making his awesome burgers then I get to retreat to the cave (our bedroom) to commence trying to look "hot" without looking like a twig w/cloth thrown on it.
I don't wanna be out late. Tomorrow's a school day.. not only does it mean I'm on duty w/Hitler, or that the kids have to get up early.. it's more that if I'm home they go to bed at their bedtime and I get quiet time on my puter.. hubby on his.. it's sooo peaceful.
Well, for a final thought:
To all you Mommies out there.. whose children make you crazy because they're fighting with each other.. or for their country..
To you Mommies whose children sit behind bars.. while you struggle with trying to figure out how they turned out like that. To the ones.. who can't touch their children.. kiss them.. hold them.. fantasize about beating them senseless because they didn't call or come home, to the Moms of babies lost before you could.
To all the Moms out there.. including you baby mommas. You ARE loved. You ARE appreciated.. though this is the most thankless Job the Almighty ever created.. it is also the most rewarding. This is your day.. our day.. Happy Frunkin' Mother's Day.
-Darlene
Sunday, May 9, 2010
What I REALLY want for Mother's Day
I have decided to speak the truth, about what I really want for Mother's day, hell, about what EVERY mother wants for mother's day. I want to spend the day alone. Okay that's a lie, I want to spend the day with a bottle of wine and my baby mama (that is what I lovingly call dillweed's new wife). I love her, she is fun, and who the hell could commiserate with me better than my kids other mother? (is there a said place I can get me a baby momma???-D)
Okay I think I need to talk about my baby mama and tell you a little bit of background before I can go back to why I only want to spend mother's day with her and a bottle of wine. My ex (dillweed) got remarried last year. After 5 years of being divorced it was weird to see him with another woman, even if I didn't want him, I didn't want anyone else to!! He finally told me one day I should talk to her, that we had a lot in common and I would like her. NO.I.WOULD.NOT...so I said I would think about it. My kids came home after their 6 weeks in the summer with their dad and were calling her Mommy...them are fightin' words! (bring it heifer.. oh you meant "baby momma"...k-D)
So as life would have it, after living hours away from my ex for a year, the kids and I packed up and moved over near dillweed (cracks me up!-D). (To make life easier for me errr....everyone involved.) Well after a few months of talking to her without wanting to like her, I caved. I love this chick. She is great fun and when dillweed (wtf is a dillweed neways?-D) loosens his leash we actually get to have a drink or two together and have a blast. I think she and I get along better than she and dillweed even do!! She has 5 of her own kids and when my kids are there she has a grand total of 8!!! (umm so you're saying she's nuts too??, ONLY way there will be 8 kids in this house is if there's a birthday party.. MAYBE-D) And I thought I had it rough with Pieface ordering me around while the other 3 are gone...wrong-o my friend!!
So now that I have come to love this chick, I really love treating myself to time with my baby mama. She is one of my only 2 friends I have that I can see in person. I'm lame, I know. Most of my friends live in cyberspace or across the country, including my husband (you're the only one I know could get a dude to marry them w/out moving in together first...is that a skill?-D). But I'll save that for another time. Have no worries, we are madly in love and it boils down to me having no patience and choosing to get married before we could live together. I figure we'll take it one step at a time, I had babies, then married him...and eventually we'll move in together. That's how everyone else does it right? (if ur azzbackwards...yeah-D)
Sorry back to Mother's day. I am a random person and it will show in my blogs. Sometimes I'm gonna need to be reminded what I even started writing about in the first place :) (SHOCK!-D) Okay so every mother when asked what she wants for Mother's day has to give the pat answer "Oh I just want time with my husband and kids" bullschinikity!! I'm calling this one, no way josephine! Okay I would sell my grandmother to get a little time with my husband, but the kids? Holy schnikeys! That's ALL I DO ALL DAY EVERY DAY, I mean, let's try something we don't do all the time. Such as...I don't know, RELAX or nap, or drink a bottle of wine before noon without having to look like a lush. I just want to be pampered and spoiled, and most of all, I want SILENCE!!! (i would compromise pampered/spoiled... for silence only.. I'm such a giver-D)
Okay pass over the bad mother of the year award because I voiced the ugly truth. I adore my kids, but just for one day, I want no screaming and yelling and fighting and I don't want any messes to clean up (unless they are my own) and I want a conversation with someone who understands the words that are coming out of my mouth and acknowledges my presence even if I am not fetching them a drink, breaking up a fight or giving them stickers (aka Hannah Montana bandaids) (wtf? why didn't u share this amazing idea w/me??? b*tch-D). I want adult time, I want for just a few hours for life to be peaceful and calm like it was before I was a mommy. Then of course after a few hours of silence and peace I will miss my kids like crazy and as soon as I get them back I'll wish for the quiet time again. (thus making u certifiably insane-D)
See....as a mom, you can't win for losing. You have gone so many years without silence and peace that the minute you get it you don't know what to do with it. Your kids are such a part of you that being away from them, even when it's supposed to be relaxing, isn't very relaxing. Being a mommy to me is: sometimes, okay a lot stressful, requires excedrine on an almost daily basis thanks to "he's looking at me" "she's breathing" (wait til they graduate to "that's my shirt!", "get out of the shower it's my turn" followed by the infamous roar for the referree..MOOOOOOOOMMMMM-D), requires superhuman strength to scrape that month old piece of gum up off the floor the kids have hidden under the bed (ya.. it doesn't disappear if you leave it.. I figured that out already-D) and then sat a toy on top of to hide the fact they aren't allowed to have gum, a stomach made of steel when it comes to potty training, cleaning toilets, and even the garbage can, and requires a heart bigger than your body (which is really saying something in my case!!) These kids may be little monsters at times, but they are mine and I absolutely adore them, for the good and the bad. As much as I may complain about all the housework and the yelling and screaming, oh and their noise too...I couldn't imagine my life without them, and wouldn't change a thing. Other than I might create a mute button and make their bedtime more like 6 instead of 8:30. I suppose I'll settle for what I have and thank God I have kids at all to drive me crazy. Could be worse..... (i wanna frunkin know how-D)
Okay I'm off to enjoy my quiet Mother's day. My baby mama is keeping my kids til 4 and Pieface (for the record.. everyone for the 1st year of that kid's life thought her name was pieface, I think she was over 1 when Jonna told me it wasn't. THAT.IS.SAD!!.. good thing u didn't nickname her Jason..or freddy... do those seem more fitting now??-D) put herself to bed and is napping quietly. Oh this is gonna be a GREAT mother's day!! (f.a.t-D)
~JB
PS. Darlene, don't tell me to f.a.t or I'll hurt you ;) (oops-D)
Okay I think I need to talk about my baby mama and tell you a little bit of background before I can go back to why I only want to spend mother's day with her and a bottle of wine. My ex (dillweed) got remarried last year. After 5 years of being divorced it was weird to see him with another woman, even if I didn't want him, I didn't want anyone else to!! He finally told me one day I should talk to her, that we had a lot in common and I would like her. NO.I.WOULD.NOT...so I said I would think about it. My kids came home after their 6 weeks in the summer with their dad and were calling her Mommy...them are fightin' words! (bring it heifer.. oh you meant "baby momma"...k-D)
So as life would have it, after living hours away from my ex for a year, the kids and I packed up and moved over near dillweed (cracks me up!-D). (To make life easier for me errr....everyone involved.) Well after a few months of talking to her without wanting to like her, I caved. I love this chick. She is great fun and when dillweed (wtf is a dillweed neways?-D) loosens his leash we actually get to have a drink or two together and have a blast. I think she and I get along better than she and dillweed even do!! She has 5 of her own kids and when my kids are there she has a grand total of 8!!! (umm so you're saying she's nuts too??, ONLY way there will be 8 kids in this house is if there's a birthday party.. MAYBE-D) And I thought I had it rough with Pieface ordering me around while the other 3 are gone...wrong-o my friend!!
So now that I have come to love this chick, I really love treating myself to time with my baby mama. She is one of my only 2 friends I have that I can see in person. I'm lame, I know. Most of my friends live in cyberspace or across the country, including my husband (you're the only one I know could get a dude to marry them w/out moving in together first...is that a skill?-D). But I'll save that for another time. Have no worries, we are madly in love and it boils down to me having no patience and choosing to get married before we could live together. I figure we'll take it one step at a time, I had babies, then married him...and eventually we'll move in together. That's how everyone else does it right? (if ur azzbackwards...yeah-D)
Sorry back to Mother's day. I am a random person and it will show in my blogs. Sometimes I'm gonna need to be reminded what I even started writing about in the first place :) (SHOCK!-D) Okay so every mother when asked what she wants for Mother's day has to give the pat answer "Oh I just want time with my husband and kids" bullschinikity!! I'm calling this one, no way josephine! Okay I would sell my grandmother to get a little time with my husband, but the kids? Holy schnikeys! That's ALL I DO ALL DAY EVERY DAY, I mean, let's try something we don't do all the time. Such as...I don't know, RELAX or nap, or drink a bottle of wine before noon without having to look like a lush. I just want to be pampered and spoiled, and most of all, I want SILENCE!!! (i would compromise pampered/spoiled... for silence only.. I'm such a giver-D)
Okay pass over the bad mother of the year award because I voiced the ugly truth. I adore my kids, but just for one day, I want no screaming and yelling and fighting and I don't want any messes to clean up (unless they are my own) and I want a conversation with someone who understands the words that are coming out of my mouth and acknowledges my presence even if I am not fetching them a drink, breaking up a fight or giving them stickers (aka Hannah Montana bandaids) (wtf? why didn't u share this amazing idea w/me??? b*tch-D). I want adult time, I want for just a few hours for life to be peaceful and calm like it was before I was a mommy. Then of course after a few hours of silence and peace I will miss my kids like crazy and as soon as I get them back I'll wish for the quiet time again. (thus making u certifiably insane-D)
See....as a mom, you can't win for losing. You have gone so many years without silence and peace that the minute you get it you don't know what to do with it. Your kids are such a part of you that being away from them, even when it's supposed to be relaxing, isn't very relaxing. Being a mommy to me is: sometimes, okay a lot stressful, requires excedrine on an almost daily basis thanks to "he's looking at me" "she's breathing" (wait til they graduate to "that's my shirt!", "get out of the shower it's my turn" followed by the infamous roar for the referree..MOOOOOOOOMMMMM-D), requires superhuman strength to scrape that month old piece of gum up off the floor the kids have hidden under the bed (ya.. it doesn't disappear if you leave it.. I figured that out already-D) and then sat a toy on top of to hide the fact they aren't allowed to have gum, a stomach made of steel when it comes to potty training, cleaning toilets, and even the garbage can, and requires a heart bigger than your body (which is really saying something in my case!!) These kids may be little monsters at times, but they are mine and I absolutely adore them, for the good and the bad. As much as I may complain about all the housework and the yelling and screaming, oh and their noise too...I couldn't imagine my life without them, and wouldn't change a thing. Other than I might create a mute button and make their bedtime more like 6 instead of 8:30. I suppose I'll settle for what I have and thank God I have kids at all to drive me crazy. Could be worse..... (i wanna frunkin know how-D)
Okay I'm off to enjoy my quiet Mother's day. My baby mama is keeping my kids til 4 and Pieface (for the record.. everyone for the 1st year of that kid's life thought her name was pieface, I think she was over 1 when Jonna told me it wasn't. THAT.IS.SAD!!.. good thing u didn't nickname her Jason..or freddy... do those seem more fitting now??-D) put herself to bed and is napping quietly. Oh this is gonna be a GREAT mother's day!! (f.a.t-D)
~JB
PS. Darlene, don't tell me to f.a.t or I'll hurt you ;) (oops-D)
Okay I suppose it's my turn...
JB here. I have been summoned to come introduce myself so here I am. I'm JB. I'm a mommy of 4 kids (5 if you count my husband), my oldest will soon be 9 and my youngest just turned 3. Apparently I am a baby making machine. If only raising them were as much fun as making them, I would have dozens more ;)
My kids drive me crazy are my everything, and make life interesting to say the least. I was a single mom for 5 years, and thanks to that I have oh so many stories about a day in the life of an overwhelmed, overworked, underpaid, never thanked, unappreciated living with 4 kids. I love love love my kids, but man, sometimes I find it amazing that I have yet to rip out all my hair or run out of the house screaming.
My oldest son is a saint. Honestly, truly, he is. I think it's because he was a horrid horrid toddler. I would say he was the spawn of the devil, but that is untrue. The devil is his grandmother, therefore my ex (whom I refer to as dilweed) is the spawn of the devil. Honestly, if you want to look her up and hang out, it won't take long to convince you I'm not exaggerating. So my oldest son, he made life a living hell for a few years but thank goodness now he is my little slave and ever so sweet. I feel I have earned the right to treat him as a slave, I spent years cleaning up sharpie off various objects, one of which being the baby, and cleaning crap, yes literal crap, off carpet, walls, clothes etc. I'm now making him pay for having made my life miserable for a few years.
My oldest daughter....hmmm....what to say about this one. She lives in her own little world. Oh to be as clueless as her, life would be so grand. She is a riot, but I'll tell you more about her later. I could go on and on for hours with stories about that little girl. All I am going to say is it's a good thing she's pretty, I hope she finds a rich man, maybe she'll grow out of it and become a Dr ;)
My youngest son, oh what a surprise this little boy was. He was unplanned, and I decided to name him after an angel because of that. You know how they say be careful what you name a child? Well never name them after an angel....you'll get the opposite behavior. Nothing is cuter than my little boy, with his blonde hair and big blue eyes, until he opens his mouth and screams that is. It's hit or miss with this kid, whether you get an angel or a, well...you know. He's at times the sweetest sweetest boy ever, and other times....get yourself a set of earplugs and go hide in the closet!!
On to the baby. Oooohh my beloved baby!!! I had a stillbirth before my youngest, so that's why I justified spoiling her. Now...yeah I'm dealing with the aftermath. I call my baby Pieface. Why you ask? Well, I had 3 preemies and being my only full term baby and at a whopping 6 lbs 2 oz I thought she had the fattest baby face ever, hence the name Pieface. Pieface is very similar to Darlene's Hitler, even share the same birthday, although Hitler is a year older. My child thinks I live to serve her. From the minute she wakes up, literally THE MINUTE she wakes up, she barks orders at me. "I'm hungry! FEED ME!" "DRINK!" notice how she is polite enough to ask "please may I have something to eat?" and "please can you pour me a drink?" All day until the sweet little angel falls asleep. Pieface is the most beautiful, and at select times, the sweetest little girl I have ever seen. At other times....she is Hitler the second.
Last person to be introduced, my loving husband. We are newlyweds!! I'm sure if I asked the hubs he could tell me how many days we've been married, he's completely unaware of how much life sucks to be married to me the sweetest man ever I hope we are always this much in love!!! He's awesome with the kids. All he has to do is snap and/or point and then all fall in line like little soldiers. If only I could effectively employ the same tactic. Instead, I scream until I lose my voice bark orders in vain and eventually give up and go hide in the bedroom with a box of twinkies or oreos, or both.
Well that's all for me. I gotta rest up so I can treat myself to a wonderful Mother's Day. If I don't cook, clean, slave away for the kids enjoy it, then it won't be the special day it was meant to be. To all you other moms out there, Happy Mother's Day!! I hope your kids behave and the house stays somewhat clean for you!
~JB
My kids drive me crazy are my everything, and make life interesting to say the least. I was a single mom for 5 years, and thanks to that I have oh so many stories about a day in the life of an overwhelmed, overworked, underpaid, never thanked, unappreciated living with 4 kids. I love love love my kids, but man, sometimes I find it amazing that I have yet to rip out all my hair or run out of the house screaming.
My oldest son is a saint. Honestly, truly, he is. I think it's because he was a horrid horrid toddler. I would say he was the spawn of the devil, but that is untrue. The devil is his grandmother, therefore my ex (whom I refer to as dilweed) is the spawn of the devil. Honestly, if you want to look her up and hang out, it won't take long to convince you I'm not exaggerating. So my oldest son, he made life a living hell for a few years but thank goodness now he is my little slave and ever so sweet. I feel I have earned the right to treat him as a slave, I spent years cleaning up sharpie off various objects, one of which being the baby, and cleaning crap, yes literal crap, off carpet, walls, clothes etc. I'm now making him pay for having made my life miserable for a few years.
My oldest daughter....hmmm....what to say about this one. She lives in her own little world. Oh to be as clueless as her, life would be so grand. She is a riot, but I'll tell you more about her later. I could go on and on for hours with stories about that little girl. All I am going to say is it's a good thing she's pretty, I hope she finds a rich man, maybe she'll grow out of it and become a Dr ;)
My youngest son, oh what a surprise this little boy was. He was unplanned, and I decided to name him after an angel because of that. You know how they say be careful what you name a child? Well never name them after an angel....you'll get the opposite behavior. Nothing is cuter than my little boy, with his blonde hair and big blue eyes, until he opens his mouth and screams that is. It's hit or miss with this kid, whether you get an angel or a, well...you know. He's at times the sweetest sweetest boy ever, and other times....get yourself a set of earplugs and go hide in the closet!!
On to the baby. Oooohh my beloved baby!!! I had a stillbirth before my youngest, so that's why I justified spoiling her. Now...yeah I'm dealing with the aftermath. I call my baby Pieface. Why you ask? Well, I had 3 preemies and being my only full term baby and at a whopping 6 lbs 2 oz I thought she had the fattest baby face ever, hence the name Pieface. Pieface is very similar to Darlene's Hitler, even share the same birthday, although Hitler is a year older. My child thinks I live to serve her. From the minute she wakes up, literally THE MINUTE she wakes up, she barks orders at me. "I'm hungry! FEED ME!" "DRINK!" notice how she is polite enough to ask "please may I have something to eat?" and "please can you pour me a drink?" All day until the sweet little angel falls asleep. Pieface is the most beautiful, and at select times, the sweetest little girl I have ever seen. At other times....she is Hitler the second.
Last person to be introduced, my loving husband. We are newlyweds!! I'm sure if I asked the hubs he could tell me how many days we've been married, he's completely unaware of how much life sucks to be married to me the sweetest man ever I hope we are always this much in love!!! He's awesome with the kids. All he has to do is snap and/or point and then all fall in line like little soldiers. If only I could effectively employ the same tactic. Instead, I scream until I lose my voice bark orders in vain and eventually give up and go hide in the bedroom with a box of twinkies or oreos, or both.
Well that's all for me. I gotta rest up so I can treat myself to a wonderful Mother's Day. If I don't cook, clean, slave away for the kids enjoy it, then it won't be the special day it was meant to be. To all you other moms out there, Happy Mother's Day!! I hope your kids behave and the house stays somewhat clean for you!
~JB
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Introducing................me, mine & hers!
So, the idea for this blog came from another blog, that got their idea from another blog.. and so forth.. so this is ok right? I thought so.
This is going to be a wonderful place where I can vent, errr talk about the crap.. I mean, adventures associated with bein' a b-n-mommy. That's right, I said b-n. Not bein' or being' but b*tchin'... in whatever context the current post fits into.
I have very few close friends but one of my dearest.. (really prolly the only 1 I have), Jonna-Beth, has unknowingly agree to contribute to my blog, thus essentially really making it "our" blog. She always has crazzzzzzzy stories to tell about her U.P's.. (u.p's=ungrateful punks.. our loving term for Jb's kids). Everytime I hear about her day.. always makes mine seem so awesome.. sometimes downright amazing! Like the time her turds wrote on her white cupboards with sharpie.. yeah.. beat them... err I mean, poor Jonna. Wanna know JUST HOW crazzzy it gets for her, she was once in contingency for "supernanny", always something to be PROUD of!
I have 3 teens and a toddler.. whom I shall refer to as Hitler. Why?? Have you never heard of Hitler?????? Nuff said.
My oldest at home is 18 yo.. not sure he wants to live to see 19 really.. he does things.. like mouths.. lies.. even steals on occasion (usually when he needs a smoke). I call him K.S. Kingsh*t.. of turd island.
Then there's the 16 yo I.CAN'T.SHOP.AT.WALMART.MOM.YOU.DON'T.UNDERSTAND.IT.HAS.TO.BE.THE.MALL daughter. I call her Q.S. Yes, you guessed it.. queensh*t.
Then there's damn near 13 yo female. Not sure what to call her yet, she's such a whiner, yet on the go, whiner, smart, popular, whiner, crafty, talented, whiner, beautiful (of course!), whiner.. did I mention she whines alot??? Like we're talking make the 4 yo look like someone nearing adulthood for bhaviour.
Then there is hubby. I'm pretty sure you'll learn more about him in future posts.
I have a dog if he craps one more time in this house I'm punting him across the street, teacup chihuahua (hence "punting"). I love him, I think. I use to. ALOT.. then Hitler came along and he took to crappin' in the house.. that was 4 years ago, I'm sorry I can't sell the baby for you to stop crappin' in the house, so can you give it up already??????????? Not to mention we moved to what IS a bigger house, more open, MORE ROOM TO STINK UP!!!! This dog makes sure too he craps on both levels of the house.. 2x's a day.. somedays I wonder wtf was wrong w/me payin $400.00 for an ANIMAL that weighs 2lbs (that works out to be $200.00 per pound) to make it's way into our home and hearts.. and make our home smell like crap 24/7. God love him he's enriched our lives.
Let me tell you more about J.B. We met on a child loss site and quickly became very good friends we enjoyed making fun of other mommies, I mean, talking, looking up funny stuff to show each other.. AND the BEST thing ever.. gettin drunk while web camming/talking to each other on the phone/dancing.. while hubby sits in awe.. looking scared. Oh she so rocks. J.b gets it. She understands the daily frustrations, and all the good crap that's suppose to come with parenting but hasn't in the last 4 years .. she knows it sucks 99% of the time and like me isn't afraid to say so. We love our kids as much as any other mother. But, we're not afraid to admit our faults/stories & frustrations.
Well I haveta end this here, it's getting late and if I want ANY kind of a decent day tomorrow I gotta make sure I get more then a few hours sleep.. sucks when there's no baby to blame the lack thereof on.
Hopefully J.B will come out and make a post introducing herself and her family.. if she doesn't I'll just keep rambling about her and bugging her until she does.. hmm.. wonder if her cell # is the same I could always text the crap outta her!
-Darlene
This is going to be a wonderful place where I can vent, errr talk about the crap.. I mean, adventures associated with bein' a b-n-mommy. That's right, I said b-n. Not bein' or being' but b*tchin'... in whatever context the current post fits into.
I have very few close friends but one of my dearest.. (really prolly the only 1 I have), Jonna-Beth, has unknowingly agree to contribute to my blog, thus essentially really making it "our" blog. She always has crazzzzzzzy stories to tell about her U.P's.. (u.p's=ungrateful punks.. our loving term for Jb's kids). Everytime I hear about her day.. always makes mine seem so awesome.. sometimes downright amazing! Like the time her turds wrote on her white cupboards with sharpie.. yeah.. beat them... err I mean, poor Jonna. Wanna know JUST HOW crazzzy it gets for her, she was once in contingency for "supernanny", always something to be PROUD of!
I have 3 teens and a toddler.. whom I shall refer to as Hitler. Why?? Have you never heard of Hitler?????? Nuff said.
My oldest at home is 18 yo.. not sure he wants to live to see 19 really.. he does things.. like mouths.. lies.. even steals on occasion (usually when he needs a smoke). I call him K.S. Kingsh*t.. of turd island.
Then there's the 16 yo I.CAN'T.SHOP.AT.WALMART.MOM.YOU.DON'T.UNDERSTAND.IT.HAS.TO.BE.THE.MALL daughter. I call her Q.S. Yes, you guessed it.. queensh*t.
Then there's damn near 13 yo female. Not sure what to call her yet, she's such a whiner, yet on the go, whiner, smart, popular, whiner, crafty, talented, whiner, beautiful (of course!), whiner.. did I mention she whines alot??? Like we're talking make the 4 yo look like someone nearing adulthood for bhaviour.
Then there is hubby. I'm pretty sure you'll learn more about him in future posts.
I have a dog if he craps one more time in this house I'm punting him across the street, teacup chihuahua (hence "punting"). I love him, I think. I use to. ALOT.. then Hitler came along and he took to crappin' in the house.. that was 4 years ago, I'm sorry I can't sell the baby for you to stop crappin' in the house, so can you give it up already??????????? Not to mention we moved to what IS a bigger house, more open, MORE ROOM TO STINK UP!!!! This dog makes sure too he craps on both levels of the house.. 2x's a day.. somedays I wonder wtf was wrong w/me payin $400.00 for an ANIMAL that weighs 2lbs (that works out to be $200.00 per pound) to make it's way into our home and hearts.. and make our home smell like crap 24/7. God love him he's enriched our lives.
Let me tell you more about J.B. We met on a child loss site and quickly became very good friends we enjoyed making fun of other mommies, I mean, talking, looking up funny stuff to show each other.. AND the BEST thing ever.. gettin drunk while web camming/talking to each other on the phone/dancing.. while hubby sits in awe.. looking scared. Oh she so rocks. J.b gets it. She understands the daily frustrations, and all the good crap that's suppose to come with parenting but hasn't in the last 4 years .. she knows it sucks 99% of the time and like me isn't afraid to say so. We love our kids as much as any other mother. But, we're not afraid to admit our faults/stories & frustrations.
Well I haveta end this here, it's getting late and if I want ANY kind of a decent day tomorrow I gotta make sure I get more then a few hours sleep.. sucks when there's no baby to blame the lack thereof on.
Hopefully J.B will come out and make a post introducing herself and her family.. if she doesn't I'll just keep rambling about her and bugging her until she does.. hmm.. wonder if her cell # is the same I could always text the crap outta her!
-Darlene
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